One of the most glorious, yet most devastating parts of the “American dream” is that you usually get there alone. It’s lonely at the top, and you are encouraged to get there by stepping on many people, unable to see their feelings in the way of your success.

Yet there is a huge problem with this kind of thinking.

Do you ever think about those entertainers that lead such crazy, unfulfilled, tireless, materially driven, lonely lives? We all know they do. Whether you like to admit it or not, there are some things that they struggle with that we have no idea even exists.

The world encourages you to be “self-made”. You can find success on your own. You can live the life you’ve always wanted. You can be whoever and whatever you want to be. You can get out of this marriage that makes you unhappy. You can run from your problems and escape into a new life.

While it’s tempting to entertain the idea of giving in to all of our self-driven desires, and to reach for the top, there are a few things to consider along the way.

First, once you get to the top, who will you share it with?

Second, did you ever think your plans might change along the way?

Third, are you the only one capable of great ideas?

Last, what are the dreams of those you love the most?

Being married these past couple of years has taught me many things, yet I think one of the most significant lessons lies in this truth: Marriage is a union of two lives into one, not a separation of one life from the other. It takes constant compassion and consideration to think of the needs of your spouse first before your own, but trust me, it pays off.

Today my challenge to you is simply that you think about these concepts. You may be searching for ways to make more money, to find a different career, to explore new business options. All of those things are fine, and there is a place for work and determination, yet I want you to consider the four questions I asked above.

So can you still get to the top while dragging someone else along with you?

This is where accountability comes in.

A couple verses have come to my mind recently, and I think they apply so clearly with what we are talking about today:

Proverbs 27:17

“Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.”

Proverbs 19:20-21

“Listen to advice and accept instruction,
that you may gain wisdom in the future.
21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

Remember two things today: (1) You are not actually in control of your own life, God is. And He will do exceedingly abundant things with you if you let Him. (2) Advice and wise counsel from others will lead to wisdom. It may be humbling, and it may be hard to hear, but living a life full of wisdom is much better than a life of idleness and selfish ambitions.

Finding accountability means seeking someone to walk alongside you, reaching out to someone you love and asking for their help, realizing that you can’t do this alone. God has given us the gift of friendship for a reason, and I hope you see the importance of it, and the blessings it can bring.


By: Erika Pizzo

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Accountability in a Self-Made World
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